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Question: What do you think about my story?
t’s just PART of a short story I’m currently working on. Please note that I’m only in the 8th grade.

People have always been told fairy tales. And people have always been told that they weren’t real, that the characters didn’t exist. This was also true for a young Whitney Dawson growing up in Toronto, Canada. But one story she could always believe was real, was the story of The Land of Illusions. This was a story written by Whitney’s father as an experimental children’s book just for his little sunshine. It stuck with her, for the rest of her life. But not the way she thought.
Whitney Dawson, now a bio-mechanical engineer, mother of three, and loving wife, is at her office in Toronto, Canada. Her daily routine consists of sleeping, eating, and working, while her husband, Johnathan, is a stay-at-home father.
The time was 2:23 PM when Whitney heard a roaring explosion. She got under her desk, in her cubicle, and shut her eyes. She immediately felt the sonic boom against her skin. For the first time, she feared for her life. She waited a few minutes, got up, and saw nothing but white and her desk. No walls, no ceilings, she couldn’t even tell if she was on a floor. No corners, no definition, and no sense of reality. And then someone or something tapped her shoulder. Whitney let out a small shriek and hesitantly turned around, only to be greeted by a small koala with a top hat and a tuxedo.
And then, it spoke.
“Hello Whitney,” the koala said with a british accent, “My name is Reginald.”
“How the %#*$ do you know my name?!” Whitney shouted, appalled.
“Mrs. Dawson, there’s no need for profani…..hrmph,” a pause, “I think this will explain things.” At the snap of Reginald’s fingers, a 110 inch plasma screen TV appeared out of thin air.
“How the f—”
Reginald interrupted, “Now watch this video, and save the questions for after the video. Understood?” And then there was the voice of 30 elementary students saying in monotonous tone, “Yes Mr. Reginald.”
Whitney turned around only to realize nothing was there and shut her eyes, silently sobbing. It was an art, really, silent sobbing, but 3 children and an abusive husband does that to you. And then the video began.
It started off with Whitney at her cubicle working for a while, then flashed to 2 weeks prior when there was an emergency broadcast on television.
“ATTENTION: SOVIET UNION RUSSIA HAS DECLARED NUCLEAR WAR ON NORTH AMERICA!” the TV repeatedly blared. And then it all hit Whitney. Davisville Village, Toronto has just been struck by a nuclear missile. The next scene on the video featured Whitney’s house. And at 2000 frames per second, or 1/67th of normal speed, Whitney Dawson, bio mechanical engineer, mother of three, and loving wife, watched in horror as her house was struck by a nuclear missile. And as soon as the video ended, Mrs. Dawson shot her hand up.
“Yes, Mrs. Dawson?” Reginald asked.
“That can’t be my house is it? Is it?!” Whitney screamed.
“I don’t know Mrs. Dawson, I don’t know anything that goes on here. Where things are not always as they seem, and the only thing you can do is ask…’or is it?’ Yes, Whitney, this…this is The Land of Illusions.
“This can’t be possible,” Whitney exclaimed. “It was only a story!”
“Believe what you want to believe, Mrs. Dawson. Or better yet, believe what you don’t want to believe.” Mr. Reginald then let out a shrewd laugh. “Well I must get going, Whitney, Mrs. Koala wants me to bring home some eucalyptus for her and the little ones.”
“WAIT! You can’t go!! I need answers! I need a way out of here!” Whitney screamed….but Reginald was long gone. The hours passed by in what Whitney dubbed “the room that hell answers to”. Fatigue and hunger soon took over Whitney. She then laid on the cold hard floor and tried to sleep. She woke up in what seemed to be an hour.
“Strange…why is the floor so soft and warm?” Whitney thought to herself. She opened her eyes and saw that she was in her old room. The very same room her father first told Whitney about The Land of Illusions. Her closet door started to rumble. Her eyes were now wide-open.
“Who’s there?!” she demanded to know. The door started to open. It creaked, it creaked intensely loud. And out came a shadowy figure. By this time, Whitney was now screaming her head off. The figure came closer into the light. First, an arm. A pale green arm covered in warts. Then, a pale green leg. Finally the creature emerged, and it looked like a goblin, but that wasn’t the word she was looking for…it looked…it looked like the boogieman. The creature came closer and closer and closer and stopped right about a foot away from Whitney. It then stuck his hand out.
Continued…..
“Hello, Whitney. My name is Osvaldo Fitzgerald Bogeyman. Please to meet you.” It said in a german accent.
“GET AWAY! You kidnap children and kill them!” Whitney shouted.
“Do I? Oh no, no, no. Reginald sure didn’t explain this place very well did he? What does he call it? ‘The land where things aren’t always as they seem’? Well, I may seem like a ruthless killer, but I’m not. I was an accountant on my home universe, but was pulled here for some strange reason beyond my knowledge.” Osvaldo explained.
“You better not be fooling me,” Whitney said, and shook his hand. A drop of what looked like blood landed on Whitney’s left shoulder. She and Oswald both looked up. On the ceiling a sentence was scribbled in what Whitney realized to be red ink. She then remembered that Reginald said things weren’t always as they seem.
“Clever bastard,” Whitney muttered under her breath. The sentence said, “Open the window.” Osvaldo didn’t even hesitate to open up the window.
Continued again…

“Are you crazy?!” Whitney asked, “It’s a trap! It’s got to be something we don’t expect.” Whitney looked around the room, and remembered that she had read a book while she was just a child called “The Window”.
“Aha! Found it!” Whitney shouted with glee, she then handed the book to Osvaldo to open.
“Me? You want me to open the book?” Osvaldo said terrified. He opened the book, and suddenly it all went dark. Whitney opened her eyes, and saw blue skies. She was back! She was finally back! Or was she?

Answer:

Answer by Sophie
Im sorry but It is not something I would enjoy to read it is quite scrambled and hard to understand.